Tyler Wittkofsky

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Why Self-Care is Important to Writing

Taking care of your mental health is something that is important for everyone. Perhaps even more so for creative types like you and me. Most creatives draw their source of inspiration from some type of emotion, whether it be happy, sad, or angry. This kind of inspiration has provided some of the greatest art over the ages. Whether it be music, plays, books, or poetry, they all draw from emotion.

One thing I have always been passionate about is helping others achieve their dreams and goals by conquering their struggles. I’ve always had this desire to give back and help others. I’ve done it all my life and continue to do it. So, how do I do this?

With my writing. I write to make a difference in other people’s lives. Stories that show the reality of living with mental illness, while giving people hope that through it all we will survive. I want to help show them they aren’t alone in the world, no matter how dark it may seem at the moment. My writing has turned into a beacon of hope that I want to shine on the world.

Writing became a source of happiness and relaxation for me over the last several years. It gives me the opportunity to use my emotions and my mental illness as my muse to help provide me with a light in the darkness. It helps me accomplish my dream of making a difference in people’s lives. When I’m focused on writing for joy and pleasure, I find myself at the most peace.

One thing, however, that I have come to realize is that I must take time for myself. Self-care is so incredibly important to the writing process. It helps to ensure that we are on the right track and creating our best work. Self-care keeps us healthy and happy and allows us the energy we need to write. With self-love comes self-awareness and a better understanding of who you are as a person and writer.

Without practicing self-care, I find myself feeling lost. I feel tired and exhausted because I’ve put so much effort into everything except me. When we forget to take care of ourselves, we stop taking care of things with love. It becomes easier to give up on normally simple tasks. To scrap that perfectly good manuscript you’ve been working on for years out of fiery frustration.

I forget why I’m writing and it becomes a chore instead of something I love. Parts of my self-doubt creep back up because my body is so worn out and can no longer fight itself. The pressure to finish that manuscript or publish that book becomes the primary focus of my writing. I lose all interest in it, eventually.

For me, aromatherapy and meditation work the best for self-care. I like to lie in the darkness with only a fan blowing on me and a candle or wax warmer burning one of my favorite scents. I clear my mind and hone in on the smell to let it transport my jumbled mind elsewhere. For example, my favorite scent is called gray mist, and it reminds me of the morning forest.

I close my eyes and I’m transported to a dewy forest. All around me I hear the animals wake up. The birds sing their song and the insects hum their tune. The squirrels play in the branches as tiny droplets of water fall down over me. I can feel the cool morning mist wrap around my body and hug me tight.

Deep breath.

Open my eyes.

It can be as simple as that to pull me out of a pending panic attack or down spiral. Sometimes it isn’t so easy and I lay there making up my fantasy scene until I fall asleep to rest my exhausted body. There are times during the lowest of lows where nothing escapes me and it follows me to every scene I create in my mind. The times it works, though, greatly outweigh the times it doesn’t.

I also like to journal as a form of self-care. Even when I have no motivation to write a story, I typically still want to put my emotions on some kind of paper. I use the lines of some of my favorite journey’s to express my feelings. Sometimes it just helps to put how you feel down, not in story form but in pure, raw emotion.

Self-care practices can vary from person to person. From meditation and yoga and writing to massages and aromatherapy, people have different ways to take care of themselves. Taking care of yourself is unique to you and only you know what’s best. If you haven’t discovered anything yet, keep trying. Branch out and explore new possibilities and methods. It doesn’t matter how you take care of yourself, simply that you do.

If you’re interested in using the journals I use, visit Kelsey Hendrick’s store on Amazon and find some of my favorite designs. You can also find some of my favorite scents on Scotlin Scents’ Etsy store.

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I’m Making Big Moves

I’m honestly feeling the best I ever have. Things just seem to be lining up in life and I’m feeling good. I’ve got a big surprise. Something I’ve been keeping very secret over the last couple of months.

I’ve always said I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives, and that’s just what I plan to do. I’m making some pretty big moves that are going to shake some things up. I’m planning on changing the landscape and helping people realize their dreams.

I have a team standing beside me already, and it’s an amazing feeling to have people who trust me so much. They’ve all put so much faith in me and so much work towards this project. We all want to make a difference, and that’s what sets us apart.

So what is it that I’m doing? I can’t say quite yet. Be sure you stay tuned and sign up for my newsletter here.

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I’ve Made Some Changes

Maybe you’ve noticed my logo changed. It’s possible you saw that my social media handles have all changed. Perhaps you even noticed the url for the site changed.

I’ve stepped away from the Tea, But With Coffee namesake, to better embrace who I am. I’m finally getting comfortable with who I am. Mentally, I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. I’m more self-confident than ever and I’m working on making myself the best possible version of myself.

Between getting published in the Creative James Media anthologies Happily Ever Never and Dark and Stormy Night, being accepted into another, moving into the final round of judging in another, and the success of Back Porch Parley, I’ve finally come to understand my worth. You see, I am worthy. I am enough.

I stopped hiding behind a moniker and reveal myself to the world for who I am. I want to raise from the ashes like a Phoenix. To give others hope.

Speaking of giving others hope, I have a big announcement coming up later this month, so stay tuned to my newsletter to be the first to know.

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To My Best Friend, From Your Bipolar Best Friend

Thank you.

You’ve been there for me every step of the way over the last five years. You’ve stood by my side when many people left, believing in me even when nobody else did. I distanced myself from you, yet you didn’t give up hope.

I dont know how or why you continue to put up with my constant mood swings and bouts of unnecessary jealousy. I can be irrational and hard to deal with. Yet, you deal with me. You do more than deal with me, you accept me.

We don’t always see eye-to-eye, but you keep me grounded when nobody else can. You’ve been my safe person no matter where we were in life. We could be on opposite sides of the world and you would be by my side as soon as you could, and that I truly believe.

Your kids are my kids and forever will be. I will protect them just as you have protected me. I will help guide them through life like I would if they were my own. They’re my nieces and nephews, now and forever.

We fight like siblings, but that’s okay. I know you’ve always got my back and you know I’ve always got yours. We want the best for each other and we push each other until we achieve it. That’s what makes our friendship special.

Thank you, again, for being my best friend and putting up with me. I know you don’t have to, but you do anyways. You’re always there.

Love you long time,

Your Bipolar Best Friend

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You Don’t Have to Be Ashamed

We are all worthy of love and respect, and it is most definitely something we deserve to receive. We should be loved and cared for because of who we are, not despite our flaws. One thing I’ve began doing is simply not being ashamed of my mental illness. Instead, I embrace it. It is part of who I am and it will be for the rest of my life.

I want to remind people that it truly is okay to have a mental illness. It doesn’t make you any less of a person or any less deserving of love. I remind others with mental illness that they aren’t alone and I hope to serve as a beacon of hope. Despite our differences, we are fighters and we are worthy.

I used to be ashamed of my mental illness and wouldn’t tell people about it. At first I was diagnosed with cyclothymia, which is akin to a lesser bipolar disorder. I used to hide it from people because I didn’t want them to label me as crazy or unstable. Then I was diagnosed with bipolar one and I became even more ashamed.

See, the stigma and stereotypes that surround bipolar disorder made me feel even more crazy and filled with issues. AT least with cyclothymia, not many people knew what it was. They didn’t really think anything of it. With bipolar disorder, I would surely be labeled as a problem.

I hid my disability from job applications for fear of being rejected because of it. I kept it from my friends because I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t worthy of their love and attention anymore. I kept it from my family because I didn’t want them to think they had done something wrong.

I finally found people who loved and accepted me even though I was bipolar. Some of them dealt with similar illnesses and struggled to talk about it for my same reasons. Some of the people I learned to trust would go as far as to research and look for ways to help me be more comfortable with them. I found people who loved me, for me.

Remember, your circle influences how you feel. If you’re surrounded by people you feel like you can’t be yourself around, then maybe its time to reevaluate your friendships and find the ones who truly care. Open up to them. If they leave, you didn’t need them anyways.

I’m always an email or DM away from anybody who needs a friend. I will always be there to make sure nobody feels alone around me. It’s about comforting people and making them feel welcome and accepted. That is what we, as human beings, should be doing for one another.

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Stop Surviving and Start Living

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m left reflecting on what 2021 taught me. It was a long, yet exciting year. I struggled and hit rock bottom a few times while I kept climbing. I hit rock bottom more times in the last year than I have my entire life. There’s a good reason for that, though.

I didn’t give up this year. In the past, when I hit rock bottom I would stay there until someone pulled me out. This year I fought. I was a fighter. I set goals and strived for them, I fought to achieve my desires instead of watching them from a distance. I got accepted into anthologies; I published a book; I created a website; I gave mental health presentations; I started a podcast; I coached baseball and played softball; I fell in love with writing again. Most importantly, however, they were my desires and not the desires of others.

That was another thing I learned this year: I had to put myself and my family first. Not the blood family, because that isn’t who I call my family. I had to weed out the ones who sucked me dry and used and abused me. Narrowing down my circle and figuring out who my family was, I learned the meaning of family and learned that even those related to you aren’t always family.

So what does the New Year hold for me? It’s time for me to stop simply surviving and to start actually living. For too long, I have let my past haunt me and my future scare me. I want to learn to live in the future and live for the day. I want to laugh and smile every waking moment of my life, because life is too short.

I’ve lived in the shadows of my past and used it as an excuse for my actions. No more will I allow my past to dictate me or control me. I’m freeing myself from the shackles that have held me back for so long. While the trauma will always be there, I CAN control it. The trauma hurt me. It broke me. The old me. The new me is repairing himself and coming back better.

As for the future, for too long, I have feared what was to come. It is out of my hands and not something I can control, so I need to live and let go. I need to set my goals and strive to achieve them, but learn to adjust when things don’t go according to plan. I want to live here and now, with my loved ones.

I want to love like I’ve never loved before. Every single person in my family, I want to love them and never let them forget they’re loved. Life is too short. The years are too short. I want to live in the present, learn from the past, and look forward to the future.

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Getting Out of My Own Head

You ever have those moments where you got so wrapped up in your head and own thoughts you lost sight of everything else? Sometimes, as someone with severe anxiety, I can get wrapped up in my own thoughts. What happens is I hyper-fixate on something. I travel down these rabbit holes of endless ‘what if’ scenarios. How exactly do I get out of those situations? I’m glad you asked.

For me, I practice grounding myself more. I typically try to remove myself from the physical place I’m in. Going outside, into the fresh air, will often help bring me back down. I’ll walk outside, close my eyes and simply breathe. I focus on one thing, trying to calm my mind down. Typically, grounding myself will help. However, it doesn’t always.

If grounding doesn’t work, I move to relying on my senses. I find something to touch, something soft that reminds me of a happy memory. I light a candle or turn on a wax warmer to help bring myself into a nirvana state of mind. Again, I close my eyes and lay down, focusing on the smell and creating a vision in my head. I focus on the sounds that I can hear and the way the air feels on my body.

Now if that doesn’t work, I turn to my safe person. I know they can bring me back down from the ballooning feeling growing within the darkest depths of my mind. This person brings me back simply with the sound of their voice. Reminding me of reality and bringing me back from the long ride through my mind.

I never give up, though. I always fight. I may have to fight harder and harder every time, but I will never stop fighting. We can’t stop fighting. We won’t stop fighting. Together.

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Three Things Being Bipolar Taught Me.

At this point, it is no surpise for me to tell you that I’m bipolar. I’m open about my diagnosis because it is just a much a part of who I am as the color of my eyes. Would I choose to be bipolar if I had the option? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean being bipolar hasn’t shaped my life. I’ve learned three important lessons in my life that I attribute to my bipolar.

1. Empathy

I’ve learned to be more considerate of other people. I lived a life for twenty years where I thought it was normal for people to be sad and angry. I thought suicidal thoughts were commonplace, and that everyone had them. Little did I know, it was my bipolar mind taking control. What you’re going through doesn’t equal what other people go through, and I had to find that out. I learned that you had to be more understanding of other people’s lives and problems because they could be on a whole other level than my problems. I learned to be understanding and to lend an open ear to anybody who is struggling.

2. Patience

I used to want things to happen the moment I thought they should. I believed that if I needed something done, it should get done. Slowly, I realized that wasn’t the case, though. I learned that the best things in life come to those who wait, no matter how hard it is to wait. My mind constantly wanted to see results and progress immediately and never wanted to wait. The anticipation was worse than any actual disappointment I would be faced with. I had to discover that life didn’t happen like that. No matter how hard things got for me, things would always get better. I just had to stay strong and give it a difference.

3. Mental Health Advocacy

I learned how much it meant to others to become a mental health advocate. I looked around me after my diagnosis and start recognizing signs of mental illness in other people. The only problem was they were too scared to talk about it, especially men. Being bipolar taught me it isn’t weak to speak out and to express your feelings. This is something that I have tried to help other men understand. None of us should have to suffer alone.

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To My Wife, From Your Bipolar Husband

To my wife,

My beautiful wife. You never cease to amaze me. Not only are you beautiful, but you’re so incredibly smart. You’re talented at whatever you want to do, you have so much potential.

Speaking of potential, that’s all I offered you when we met. All I had was the shell of a man who could either be really great or really awful. You saved me from the awful path and showed me what I was capable of.

You made me believe in myself again. After years of self doubt and self indulgence, you somehow made me see what I was capable of. You made me realize what my true worth was. You took this wild bipolar mind and tamed it.

Even with no training or experience in dealing with someone with a mental illness intimately, you never gave up on me. You stuck by my side through my lows and helped me to celebrate my highs. You taught me how to love myself.

I’m not without my flaws, however. I can be short-tempered, and I can be two different people within minutes. You stand by me every time. I know it’s hard, but I appreciate you so much.

Your constant love for me helps rid my mind of those scary thoughts that wander in from time to time. It shows me the light on the stormy nights. It gives me hope.

Your simple touch can soothe the harshest of panic attacks. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I feel it coming on and I clench my fist, but you reach out and gently rub my back. It brings me down before I can go off the deep end.

I love the way your voice sounds, but especially your laugh. Those two sounds are some of the happiest sounds I’ve ever heard. Your voice soothes the restlessness in my mind. Your voice makes me feel safe.

You know what to say and how to say it when I’m having a bad day. You stay positive for me on those days and serve as my rock. I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know. It adds a glimpse of sunshine on my cloudy day.

You don’t treat me like I’m crazy. I’m a normal person to you. I’m not my mental illness when you speak to me. You see me for who I am and love me for every piece of me.

I just can’t thank you enough for always being there. For the way you smile at me, the way you listen to me, the way you talk to me, the way you love me.

Love always,

Tyler

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What It’s Like to Have a Panic Attack

TRIGGER WARNING
Below is a detailed depiction of my experiences with panic attacks. Please use caution when reading this post and ensure you have a safe person around if it may trigger you.

I thought hard about what I wanted to write this week. It wasn’t until I was on the verge of a panic attack last night that I realized I wanted to give people some insight into what it is like to have a panic attack. I understand this is a hard topic for some people to read, and I respect that. However, I believe this is important for educating people and giving them insight into how to help.

I want to show people how to write it also, give them perspective and depth into one man’s panic attacks. That leads me to a key point: Panic attacks are unique to an individual. Just like our bodies react differently to everything in the world, so does our mind to stress or panic.

For me, a panic attack starts with this tightening feeling in my chest. Slowly, the rope pulls around my heart and suffocates it. A black hole is left in its place, sucking away all my emotions. It takes away all the happiness and joy I could muster.

Then my muscles tense up like I’m being jolted with electricity. I dig my nails into my palms as the feeling tightens my body. I slowly curl up into a ball as my muscles pull at me. My teeth clench together and grind against one another as I struggle to breathe.

Then I forget. I forget how to move, to breathe, to talk, to live. I take in deep gulps of breath, but forget how to release it. I gasp, taking in more and more air. More air than my lungs can hold. My nails dig deeper into my palms, but the pain has disappeared along with my other senses. I want to breathe. I want to release the air into the atmosphere. I beg my brain to remember as I continue to gasp, until…

Finally, I exhale. My eyes stay closed as my body recovers. I don’t move for ten minutes, just laying there in a ball. I wait for my muscles to slowly relax and my breathing to return to normal. Then I open my eyes, and as always, my wife is there, stroking my hair. Waiting for me, like she always does. Opening my eyes to see someone, anyone, being by your side helps so much.

Now, you may ask what some control techniques are when you feel a panic attack coming on. For me, there are a few things that normally work. I turn to my senses before I lose them. What can I smell around me? I’ll use wax warmers or diffusers to help bring me a pleasant smell.

I cuddle with my dogs, relying on my sense of touch and comfort to bring me back down. My head laid on the soft side of Dutch is one of the best feelings. I’ll close my eyes and try to force myself into a happy memory or thought to counter the negativity trying to invade my mind.

Music will often transform me too. Nice, soft music is typically what I turn to. The piano or an acoustic guitar are some of the most soothing sounds for my crazy mind.

Those are things that work for me, so that doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. Maybe it will help someone, though. If I’ve helped one person, I’ve done something worth doing.

Stay strong.

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Why I Write

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. It all started way back when I was five or six years old. My grandmother, MaMa, was a high school educator. I spent a lot of time with her growing up and she used to always encourage my creative writing style. I was always good with my words going through school, but I stopped writing for fun when writing became something I had to do. I was burnout of writing from school. Research paper after research paper, it was just so much.

Then I was officially diagnosed bipolar. I had to find an outlet to get everything out, or I felt like I was going to go crazy. I started writing poetry, something I hadn’t really done before. The words flowed out of me. Whether it was sitting in the hallways outside my college class waiting for class to start or sitting in my car outside of work, I would write.

That was when I revitalized my love for writing. I started writing more and more poetry. I had a few ideas for stories that I wrote here and there over the next four years, but it was mainly poetry. It was a way for me to escape my mind and be set free from the darkness. It simply felt good to right.

Then the idea for (Not) Alone struck me. I’ll never forget it. I was living with my grandparents with my fiance while our house was being built. On my way home from work one day, I simply saw the title in my mind: (Not) Alone. Once I saw the title, I knew what the book was going to be about.

My passion for mental health skyrocketed, and I wanted to make a difference. I strove to help people realize they were truly not alone, no matter how hard it can be to see that sometimes. I wanted so badly to help people, so nobody had to feel the loneliness I felt for so long.

All this to say, I write for two reasons: to help me and to help other people. Writing for me is therapeutic, it gives me purpose and drive. It allows my restless mind to be put to work and not focus on the negatives. I write because I want to help people. I focus my writing on mental health awareness because it’s a topic that needs more attention. We need to understand how mental illness affects people’s lives.

I will always write. I will always write for myself and for other people.

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It’s Hard to Stay Happy

I’m doing good. I’m doing fantastic, actually. I would be willing to say I have been feeling the best I have ever felt these last few weeks. I finally got a new medicine regimen that seems to be working wonders for me. I’m writing more passionately, I’ve just launched a new podcast and taken on speaking engagements. I’m coaching youth sports again and fulfilling my passion for helping kids because I don’t have any of my own.

I’ve been growing as a person and developing into a better version of myself. I learned, with the help of my wife, that you have to find the positives in the negatives. For example, I bought a new car a few weeks ago. I felt great. About five days later, the check engine light comes on. Normally, I would have spiraled and regretted the decision of ever getting a new car. I would have gone through a million scenarios that could have been causing it. This time, though, I thought “At least it happened now rather than after the warranty expires.”

I’ve even been going and doing more. I have spent more time with my friends and family, wanting to get out of the house. I’ve learned that I had missed hanging out with people, partly a toll from the COVID lockdowns, I suppose. I sheltered myself and forgot what real, genuine human interaction was like. Now, I crave it and want to be around people.

All is well, right? Well, not exactly. There’s this lingering thought in the back of my head that tells me, “When is it going to happen again? When will you fall again?” That nagging voice in the back of my head haunts me every day and every night.

I forget about it when I’m doing the things I love and the things I enjoy. I stay so happy now. I’m motivated to do the things I love and spend time with the people who are always by my side. But when I finally get laid down for the night and try to go to sleep, it sneaks back up on me.

It attacks me when my mind is most vulnerable. “It’ll happen again. It’s coming soon. You’re going to fall back in the darkness. Will you make it out this time?” I lay there staring into the darkness of my bedroom or hiding behind the shield of my eyelids.

It’s always there. Sometimes it’s just easier to forget that it’s there. Other times it is louder. I won’t lose, though. Even if I fall back into the darkness, I’ll come back out into the light like I always do.

Stay strong.

We’ve got this.

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Writing Mental Illness

I often hear about writers struggling to write characters with mental illness, because they want to accurately portray mental illness without it being offensive. I believe that there should be more mental illness in literature and the arts because it helps to raise awareness. So, I have put together the following list as a beginner’s guide to writing characters with mental illness.

Do Your Research

Research is a crucial part of all of our writing. We want to bring a certain sense of authenticity to our writing. Researching mental illness is even more crucial because it involves accurately portraying a subset of people. When writing about mental illness, be sure you look at the comorbidity of different mental illnesses. Also, remember that no one person reacts the same to their mental illness, so the best practice would be to use resources like The Mighty to help see different perspectives.

Give Your Character a Life Outside of Mental Illness

Make sure your character isn’t there simply as the token mentally ill person. Even if your book focuses on mental illness, your characters need a life. They need friends and family. They need hobbies and activities to do. The goal is always to make our characters authentic. Making a character one-dimensional where the only thing they add to the story is being someone with mental illness is a dangerous practice.

For example, in (Not) Alone-which is free to download here-Henry is an avid hunter and that is represented throughout the book. It brings a certain sense of reliability to the character. While the theme of the book was mental illness, that wasn’t the only thing about Henry that readers knew.

Use It As a Source of Pride

While having a mental illness may not necessarily be something somebody is proud of, overcoming that mental illness to become successful is something to be proud of. In (Not) Alone, there was a major theme of pride throughout the book. Every time Henry overcame his latest struggle with mental illness, you could feel and see his sense of pride and self-confidence increased every chapter.

Show, Don’t Tell

As writers, we hear this every time we send a manuscript to our editor. No matter how many times we hear it, we inevitably have places in our writing where someone can say “I wish they would have shown that instead of telling it.” The same is true for mental illness. Don’t tell the reader someone has anxiety, show them. Allow the reader to experience the fine details of the story through the character’s actions, details that rely on the reader’s senses, intentionally using words, or the expression of characters’ emotions. Some examples:

Instead of “I was starting to have an anxiety attack,” use something like “The closer I got, the more my heart beat against my chest. It felt like I was having a heart attack. The anxiety flooded my mind again, making me question everything.“
Instead of “He was having an anxiety attack,” use something like “He felt like his breath was escaping him and every time he tried to catch it, more got away from him. Henry couldn’t talk anymore. He was afraid that his next breath would be his last. He just focused on moving his legs. The ground felt like it was slowly giving way beneath him. His chest was slowly tightening its grip, causing an unbearable pain. His stomach was in a thousand knots as he struggled to breathe.“
Instead of “He was experiencing bipolar rage,” use something like “He couldn’t make out the sound of his engine roaring through the sound of his heart pounding within his chest. All he knew was that he wanted to get away from his current surroundings. He wanted the Earth to stop spinning. He slammed his car into reverse as he backed out of his grandparent’s driveway.“

Hire a Sensitivity Reader

I got lucky with my latest book and my editor also served as a sensitivity reader. You can find tons of resources for quality sensitivity readers online, or reach out to your fellow writers or social media followers to get recommendations. Sensitivity readers give you a better understanding of how readers will react to your writing. It gives you the opportunity to fix the mistakes that may not be quite correct or maybe unintentionally offensive before it goes out to the masses.

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Be Kind.

Everyone around you is fighting a battle. We all have some kind of inner turmoil going, pretty much all the time.

It’s a scary thought that the sweet cafeteria lady from your high school days had some inner turmoil because she was so sweet and never showed it. But one day her husband passed away and she still had to go to work the next day to pay the bills. She didn’t make it known, though. She smiled and said ‘hey sweetie, extra dumplin’s today?’

We all are going through some shit, the least we can do is be kind to one another. There are rare occasions when I get angry, and I lash out at people. Whether it be a random customer service rep that had the misfortune of talking to me that day, or someone close to me that just so happened to be around at my breaking point. I hate that I do it, but I’m human.

I make it a point to apologize to those people. To call the company back and speak to the rep. Or maybe to call that family member I snapped at for trying to help. Because that customer service rep’s brother could be in the hospital with COVID, fighting for his life. My family member could be going through a rocky time in their relationship. We never know.

We just never know, and most of the time we never will. That’s why we have to be kind to one another. Sometimes it even helps to just have someone listening to you yell. We have our limits and we know what we’re comfortable with, so set your boundaries.

Be kind. Love other people because they’re going through some hard times too. I live life and try to make people laugh or smile. I show them compassion because sometimes that’s what we need. Being shown compassion is a healing tool. It feels good to be understood.

It isn’t easy or even realistic to be kind and happy all the time, but even making the effort to be more kind to people is a good thing. Showing the willingness to be more conscious of how you treat someone shows true growth. It helps you to achieve your best self.

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Stunt Driver

Being bipolar is kind of like being a stunt driver. It’s a daring ride. Both dangerous and exhilarating, you can’t help but to want more. So how exactly is being bipolar like being a stunt driver? Well, I’m glad you asked.

When mania hits, it’s like a stunt driver hitting the ramp to jump over the canyon. The car leaves the ground and it’s exhilarating. It’s a freeing feeling fleecing your body. I smile because everything feels good.

Then I get to the peak. I start to think about how I have to come down. Like the stunt car driver in the air, eventually I will get pulled back to the ground. The exhilarating feeling quickly takes a turn and becomes a constant panic.

Two things can happen from here. I either land on the ground on the other side, or crash into the canyon. The thoughts of both scenarios flood my mind, growing louder and more vivid. My heart beats faster as I start to fall.

I grip onto the steering wheel and soar, feeling that sinking feeling in my stomach as gravity pulls me down. I close my eyes and…

I’ve always landed on the ground on the other side. But every time I land, there’s a thought in the back of my head that nags at me. When will I finally crash? It plays through my head over and over again.

I build up for the next big jump, the next big manic stage. The cycle repeats, over and over again. Like a terrifying job that I can’t retire from, being bipolar is like being a stunt driver. Scary and dangerous, but also exciting and exhilarating.

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It’s Been a While

“Everything was going great there for a while, but then the depression took hold and choked the motivation out of me. I felt defeated, like a failure. I didn’t think I could ever reach my goal.”

So my last post detailed how I had gone on a spiral these last few weeks. I was having panic attacks two or three times a day. Panic attacks where I would stiffen and couldn’t breathe. I gasped for air and clenched my fist tight, digging my nails into my palms.

Things were getting bad and everything was slipping away. I had to start making changes to help get myself better. So, I went on hiatus a bit, disappearing effectively from social media and leaving my site in the rearview.

I had a goal when I first started this site to deliver three posts a week: One mental health, one book review, and one author interview. Everything was going great there for a while, but then the depression took hold and choked the motivation out of me. I felt defeated, like a failure. I didn’t think I could ever reach my goal.

After my medicine kicked in and things equalized in this bizarre mind of mine, I saw clearer. Then I realized, who reaches their goal on the first try? Maybe I can’t post three posts a week right now because, let’s face it, life is busy. But that’s okay. I can do one post a week. One mental health post a week to keep on helping people. I want to help people.

I had to get better before I could keep helping other people who were fighting similar battles to mine. I want to give people hope and help them see that everything will be okay. Especially in the moments when they feel alone, I want to help people realize they aren’t alone.

Every time I visit the darkness, I try to learn a lesson from the trip. Even though it’s a shitty thing to go through, I can always learn something from it. There has to be a reason we’re put through these trials and tribulations, right?

What I learned in the darkness this time was that they loved me. People I once feared were tired of me or trying to get rid of me were the ones I turned to for help. But the darkness can be scary when your entire world feels like it’s crashing.

I’ve been there. I’ve been there as recently as a month ago. But I survived. I came out the other side with my vision cleared. I feel better because I reached out to my support system, who guided me in the right direction when I got lost. They helped me come out of the darkness and I want to be there for everyone else when they get to that moment because it isn’t easy. It isn’t something we can do alone. We aren’t alone. None of us are.

You will always have me, friend.

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Having So Much to Do, but No Motivation to Do It.

A few weeks ago, I was on top of the world. I built this site, was writing every day, reading two to three books a week, and just being productive. My first newsletter was written, and I started tracking social media metrics. I was just having fun and loving being alive.

Now, I find myself with so much to do, but no motivation to do it. I need to write, read, plan out social media. I need to promote my books. No matter how hard I try to reach deep within me to pull out some semblance of motivation, nothing ever comes up. I find myself with a blog and no content planned for the next month. My mind is racing as I begin to hear the familiar voices telling me I’m a failure.

So what happened? What brought me from the top of the world to rock bottom in a matter of weeks?

Bipolar.

See, in periods of mania, I feel like I’m unstoppable. Motivation aplenty graces my life. I spend money like it is a bottomless pit. Most of the time, it isn’t things that I need or things that I really want. It’s more spur-of-the-moment purchases that add up over time. I get so much accomplished during these periods, some of my best work comes out of it. I could take on the world.

But then a switch gets flipped. Suddenly, the motivation is gone and my anxieties are more relevant. My anxiety leads me on a journey every single day of what needs to be done, what I need to accomplish to be successful. The motivation just isn’t there. At the end of the day, I berate myself for being a failure. “That’s all I’ll ever be,” I tell myself over and over again.

The sad realization of overspending hits me as I struggle to put together a plan to bring myself out of a financial pit I drove myself into. The anxiety creeps up and plays me every possible scenario of money woes. I lose my car; I lose my job; I lose my house; I lose my family. I always lose.

It’s a relentless cycle that always haunts me. I’m constantly worried that a slew of depression will follow my good mood. I’m looking over my shoulder and watching the wake of my destruction, but I can’t stop my feet from moving forward. Time after time, I overanalyze what I’ve done. I hate myself for it.

Time after time, I’ve held in these feelings and thoughts. I kept them to myself. I didn’t want to feel like a burden or a stressor to any of my friends and family who were dealing with their own stress. I felt like I was bothersome with my worries and my pain, that they were all irrational thoughts and people would dismiss me as crazy or attention-seeking.

Finally, I had to realize that I couldn’t do this myself. Every time I fell into the darkness, it wasn’t until I reached my hand out for help that I was pulled out. Still, I ignored what helped me the most time after time. Until this time. I reached out for help as soon as the feelings of dread came back. I got a doctor’s appointment sooner than I had any of the times trying to fight it myself.

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Author Interview: Neha Gopal

I first discovered Neha Gopal through her book 10. The book moved me in so many ways and I fell in love with it. See my review here. When I looked more into the author, I learned that Ms. Neha Gopal wrote the story as a high school student. Her work was so deep and meaningful that I never would have thought the writer had been so young. Between her work with NAMI and time spent studying in school, Ms. Neha Gopal took the time to sit down and do an interview on Tea, But With Coffee.

Tell me about yourself

Howdy! My name is Neha Gopal and I am the author of the coming-of-age epistolary novel, 10. I am a twenty-year-old journalism student at Texas A&M University (whoop!). During my senior year of high school, I published this book when I was 18 years old. Aside from my passion for journalism, I’m also interested in neuroscience as well as psychology, and I am pursuing a minor in each. I am an avid soccer player and tennis player as well.

What inspired you to write?

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and have written my entire life. The penmanship of most writers is influenced by strong memories. I wrote the book when I was a high school student. As a senior, I published the book I started as a freshman. As it is with countless others, high school was a difficult time for me. My teenage years were filled with highs and lows, from depression to friendship issues to gaining weight because of my obsession with cheetos. My writing gave me the chance to express feelings I may not have otherwise been able to voice (both positive and negative).

What is your favorite genre to read?

I enjoy reading contemporary fiction the most, especially the kinds of books that are as finely written as they are revolutionary. The books I enjoy most have an authentic voice and a message that resonates with me.

To write?

I love writing young adult stories, especially coming-of-age stories. The reason I enjoy writing these types of books so much is that they allow me to explore the issues and explore the messages that resonate most with young readers as well as myself.

What is your favorite piece of work you’ve written?

My favorite piece of work was actually something I wrote in fourth grade. This piece of work was by no means a masterpiece; in fact, it was a very melodramatic story that barely respected grammar rules. What made this piece my favorite was the reaction I got from it, a reaction I did not expect. It was a great experience to present my story to the school and to see my English teacher react with such positive emotion. I was told by my teacher that I have a lot of talent and skill after I stepped off the podium. Even though teachers tell all their students that they are one in a million (what are the chances of that?), I held on to that praise. Although I would not want to see my story reach the day of light ever again, I loved the feeling I got when that story reached the light, and that made that sappy story my favorite.

How do you handle good and bad reviews of your work?

I definitely developed a tough skin through reading book reviews. I try to see bad reviews as constructive criticism, rather than bad reviews per se. It is still early in my career as a writer so I have much to learn. But I must admit, getting good reviews feels good. It gives me the motivation and passion to continue writing.

What is your favorite part about writing?

My favorite part about writing is creating a storyline that is simple to follow as well as different. It is a joy to bounce off ideas with my friends as well as my father to make the story more resonating and interesting.

Least favorite?

The beginning of the writing process is my least favorite part. For me, starting to write is the most challenging part, because at the moment, watching YouTube videos or watching Netflix feels more rewarding than doing the work itself. I also hate getting stuck in a writer’s block, which is almost every writer’s biggest challenge. I find it difficult to overcome, but after I get out of my writer’s funk, it is much easier to write.

What social media site has been the most beneficial for your writing?

YouTube is the social media site I use most when I write. YouTube is a fantastic source of inspiration for me. From music, videos, and the background noise, I am able to get inspired while I am writing. Many people have trouble focusing when they hear music, but for me it is the opposite. I tune everything out and concentrate only on the writing when YouTube videos or music is playing in the background.

What does the future hold for you?

My hopes are high for the future. I’m young and I’m eager to improve as a writer. One day, as a journalism major, I hope to work for a large, influential newspaper company, such as the Boston Globe. In addition, I hope to remain involved in the book publishing industry and to publish another book that will be better than my last.

Any advice you would like to give other authors?

Look at the big picture, but don’t let it intimidate you. It was helpful for me to look at each page by itself. Also, if you really want to write a book, you need to adequately budget your resources. I’m not going to tell you you need to only take cold showers, get up at 4:30am each day, and work a 12 A number of aspiring authors tell me they are working towards publishing a book, or intend to. In 9 out of 10 cases, the idea is abandoned or the paper is never completed. Publishing a book is a time-consuming and difficult process. Nonetheless, keep going until you’ve created a product that you’re proud of. It will be worth it in the end.

Anything you would like to add?

I would like to thank you for inviting me on your blog. It is wonderful you are giving indie and self-published authors a medium to shine!

Social media, website, etc. links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/10.neha.gopal
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/10_published/
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/10-Neha-Gopal-ebook/dp/B07MFNDXQP/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=NEHA+GOPAl&qid=1571107799&sr=8-1

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Book Review: 10

I received a free copy of this book for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

Book Summary

10 unfolds the story of the troubled and impulsive Simone struggling to navigate through the tumultuous years of adolescence. She finds support and guidance through an exchange of letters with the enigmatic Joy, a beautiful and affluent globe-trotter, helpful and wise far beyond her teenage years. As Simone’s life gradually descends into chaos, Joy strives to rescue her, drawing from her life experiences.

10 is a coming-of-age story about friendship, love, depression, and the virtues of life. Simone and Joy build a strong bond through letters as they both, in their own unique and surprising ways, grapple to come to terms with the significance and challenges of living a fulfilling life.

Review

This book both warmed and moved me. The story of two young girls who become pen pals after meeting one another in the hospital. Simone, the troubled teen at the hospital for a concussion, starts off as a rebellious teenager. We watch her character develop and struggle with her mental health, battling it, seemingly alone.

On the other hand, you have the seemingly put-together Joy. Her name spells out what she radiates. She spends most of the story being what appears to be Simone’s one and only loyal friend. You see how she grows to care for Simone and how protective she becomes of her.

It was interesting to watch the two talk about their individual experiences. These two characters were vastly different in their life experiences, yet they helped each other journey through the pains of being a teenager.

There were points in this story where I felt my heart rate quicken in anticipation. Times where I couldn’t help but to smile at myself because of the friendship they forge. Then there were the tears that come throughout the book as it emotionally grabs a hold of you.

What makes this book even more impressive is the fact that the author wrote it while they were in high school. That brought an additional layer of authenticity to the story as the author is living the real-life experiences and is in the mind of her characters.

Rating

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Author Interview: Kyle Bernier

I first came across Kyle’s book Lazy Creativity: The Art of Owning Your Creativity earlier this year when I received a free copy from Pubby. Going into this book, I was skeptical. I was used to reading self-help books that preached at you to do things a certain way. But Kyle brought a new style to the genre that instantly attracted me to the book and got me excited for it. Since I finished, I have recommended his book to anyone I can (Check out my review HERE). I’m glad to have Kyle as my guest author today for this interview.

Tell me about yourself

I am an advisor, art therapist, artist, researcher, and author who has spent years living and making creatively. I have a Master’s degree from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. I am currently based in Minneapolis, Minnesota where I work and create. On top of that, I’m also a printmaker who enjoys experimenting with different printing techniques and styles.

What inspired you to write?

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and have written my entire life. At some point it dawned on me that three big interests of mine – creativity, research, and writing could all be combined into a book where I could expand on creativity. In my work I’ve received many questions about how to be a more creative person. I decided to put down a lot of my advice, experiences, and (learnable) failures together in Lazy Creativity.

What is your favorite genre to read?

I read a lot of self-help books. I’m always motivated after reading them, which leads me to be more productive and think about the ways I do things. However, I also enjoy reading horror stories. Self-help and horror seem like pretty opposite genres, but I think a lot of the themes are similar (overcoming fear, learning from mistakes, etc.)

To write?

Most of my recent work has focused on self-help and creativity, but I really do enjoy writing horror pieces as well. I’m in the early stages of creating a self-help resource with horror and creative elements.

What is your favorite piece of work you’ve written?

I’m most proud of Lazy Creativity. It was a true labor of love. I’ve also written hundred-page research articles before, horror short-stories, and countless articles. However LC is such a reflection of who I am as a person, it’d feel like a disservice to not list it as my favorite. Plus, it was a ton of fun to write!

How do you handle good and bad reviews of your work?

I handle good reviews with a grain of salt, and I handle bad reviews with a grain of salt. This may sound cliche, but all reviews are useful (mostly). Both good and bad reviews tell you what people want more and less of. You’re not going to please everyone with your work, and that’s okay. If I took every bad review personally, I’m not sure I’d publish my work. Fortunately, I’ve gotten good at reading the feedback, acknowledging it, and moving on from it.

What is your favorite part about writing?

My favorite part of writing is how personal it can be. Nobody gets to read your words until you’re ready for it, and then once you’re ready, you get to choose who reads it, when, and how. Some of my writing never sees the public eye, but stays as a draft in my journals, on my computer, or as notes on my phone forever.

Least favorite?

My least favorite part of writing is the cleanup. I love word and idea vomiting onto the page when my ideas are fresh and exciting. It’s the refinement process that involves tossing out ideas, words, and sentences that I dislike. It’s a very necessary part of the process, but one I don’t relish.

What social media site has been the most beneficial for your writing?

I follow many writers, bookstores, and literary accounts on Instagram. It’s motivating and intimidating being on social media of any form, so I have to limit myself on those sites so I see enough to be inspired, but not too much to where I’m discouraged or distracted.

What does the future hold for you?

I’m currently working on my second formal book, which is also about the creative process. It will be called Ugly Creativity. Additionally, I’m writing a blog about my own writing process, keeping up with my other mediums, such as printmaking, and playing around with some other potentially smaller-scale projects.

Any advice you would like to give other authors?

Look at the big picture, but don’t let it intimidate you. It was helpful for me to look at each page by itself. Also, if you really want to write a book, you need to adequately budget your resources. I’m not going to tell you you need to only take cold showers, get up at 4:30am each day, and work a 12 hour day. You don’t. I certainly didn’t. I wrote a book on laziness because, well, I can be very lazy. That’s okay if you are too. But, you do need to keep at it. Show up consistently and write even on days you don’t feel like it.

Anything you would like to add?

Feel free to connect in any way that works for you. I’m very open to offering anything I’ve learned along the way.

Social media, website, etc. links

Website: https://www.ourlazycreativity.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Lazycreativity
Instagram: @lazy.creativity
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyle-bernier/
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B094RGZHGX/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21490903.Kyle_Bernier

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Book Review: Lazy Creativity: The Art of Owning Your Creativity

Book Summary

Lazy Creativity is a guide to owning your creativity in a way that works for you. creativity is incredibly important and is something most of us want more of in our lives but struggle to make room for. We have limited amounts of time, energy, and resources, so we have to work with what we have. Lazy Creativity is a guide to owning, growing, and loving your own creativity, no matter what that looks like – it’s creativity that meets you where you’re at. Whether you’re a creative person with a current practice, are “new” to creativity, or are somewhere in-between, this book will guide you through the creative process from the (literal or figurative) first mark to the next idea while addressing all the ups and downs in-between on the way to finding (or building) your Lazy Creativity.

Review

I wasn’t sure what to expect coming into this book. A lot of self-help books are preachy and almost make you feel like the author is talking down to you. Not this one. The author does a phenomenal job of making the reader feel engaged and the writing relatable. The writing was light, with hints of humor mixed in that makes it feel like they wrote this book just for you.

The ideas in this book are real and actionable with the author’s own personal experiences illustrating how they have applied it to their everyday life. I enjoyed the layout of the book with the short, yet concise chapters that made reading enjoyable and relatable.

This book had me hooked from the beginning. I believe it is one that everyone can benefit from. Whether you are creative, looking to be creative, or not creative at all, we can all benefit from the lessons in this book. This book will be kept on my shelf for a long time and used as a point of reference for the moments in my life where my creativity is struggling.

Rating

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Why I’m Open About my Mental Illness

I can’t tell you how many times I have received a private message on social media from someone saying “I wish I had the confidence to openly talk about my mental illness like you do.” And while it makes me smile because I feel like I’m making a difference, it also makes me frown because I remember the stigma society has placed on mental illness.

It’s almost like mental illness is a taboo topic, one that people are afraid to talk about. Just because I have a mental illness doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I’m a good person, and the vast majority of those suffering from a mental illness are good people. Society just chooses to see them in another light.

That’s why I’m so open about who I am and the struggles I’ve gone through. I want to help the world see that you can be successful with mental illness, you can be a good person with mental illness. Mental illness doesn’t define who I am, it’s just a small part of what makes us so unique.

We all have quirks and things that make us who we are, and my mental illness is one of those things. I’m proud of who I am, and I’m proud of the experiences I’ve gone through. They haven’t always been easy, but there’s always been a lesson to be learned.

I want to show those who struggle with their mental illness that there is hope. That your illness won’t stop you from winning. I want to inspire them to want to do and be more. Because nobody should feel ashamed of their illness.

I want to help educate the uneducated. And I don’t say that in a derogatory way, sometimes it truly isn’t a person’s fault that they didn’t understand something. We’re raised and molded as we grow to believe a certain thing. Many people have never stopped to think why are people with mental illness taboo?

The conversation has to start somewhere. I intend to start that conversation wherever and whenever I can. The more people I can reach and the more people that hear my message, the more change we can see in the world.

I’ve lived my life by the mantra ‘If I make one person smile or laugh a day, I’ve had a good day.’ I want to help people and see them smile. I want to make a difference and create a better future for my kids one day because, let’s be honest, the chances of my kids having a mental illness are high.

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Author Interview: S.L. Hollister

Sherri and I first met through a ‘Shameless Self Promo’ group on Twitter. From there we struck up a friendship, both of us being North Carolina authors and having connections close to my hometown. She is an amazing person who has hosted me on her blog several times. I am honored to have her on today.

Tell me about yourself

People have asked me why I don’t write about my adventures raising six sons. I have to admit that I prefer to write their stories as fiction because no one would believe the stuff they put me through if I tell it as fact. In fiction I can clean my boys up a little when I like them and make them the heroes of my stories and if they’ve pissed me off, I can make them the villains. It’s been a running joke around our house that mom will put you in her book and kill you off on page fifty, but some know they’re the smelly corpse discovered in the ditch at the very beginning of the story. Heck, it’s not even a threat anymore my grandkids are begging to be put in my books and even telling me how I can kill them off. I mean really, where’s the threat in that? We put the fun in dysfunctional, what can I say? I have long conversations with my children and grandchildren about blowing things up and how to get rid of bodies. The holidays are never boring around our house.

My mini bio: only child, married to my romantic hero for 30 years, raised six sons, have 21 grandchildren, published 7 (just finished number 8) books. Oh, and I’m the chairperson for the Pamlico Writers’ Group because no one else wanted it. That’s me in the nut shells. What else would you like to know. The color of my underwear is blue, I have pink nail polish on and no, I don’t color my hair unless it’s blue or pink or purple…

What inspired you to write?

My granddaddy and my dad were both awesome story tellers. I loved listening to their stories. As I got older, I began crafting my own.

What is your favorite genre to read?

I like to read anything with a little suspense or adventure but my favorite genre is historical romance.

To write?

My favorite genre to write, that’s a little more difficult. I dream of writing historical romantic suspense and romantic comedies but I’m enjoying writing my contemporary romantic suspense series.

What is your favorite piece of work you’ve written?

That is like trying to choose your favorite child. I have several favorites for different reasons but I think my most challenging and therefore my favorite, is a novella I wrote called “Only in My Dreams.” A World War 2 love story of a nurse and flyboy.

How do you handle good and bad reviews of your work?

Oh boy, reviews. So far most of my reviews haven’t been too bad. I haven’t had very many, but it is difficult not to take them to heart. We can tell ourselves that it’s part of the process and we need to become thick skinned but in truth we want people to like our work, admire us and it’s difficult not to confuse our worth and our work.

What is your favorite part about writing?

I love writing! I love creating characters and watching them come to life. I know that sounds wacky to anyone who isn’t a writer but I’m a pantser so I write in layers. I write the first part as bare bones then add more details. The same with the plot, I love watching the story develop and grow into a finished product.

Least favorite?

Emotions, I get too involved in what I’m writing and can end up in a blue funk. I find myself skirting the emotional stuff so I don’t have to deal with the personal fallout but I know that the book is better when I bleed a little.

What social media site has been the most beneficial for your writing?

I have found a hive on Twitter, where we met and another on Facebook, The New Romance Cafe, I also feel there are connections on Instagram but they are more individual writers, not necessarily part of a group.

What does the future hold for you?

No one knows the future but I am working on a long series, The Harrell Family Chronicles and I hope to start working on a historical series I’ve had in mind for several years.

Any advice you would like to give other authors?

Don’t give up. It may be daunting, seeing so many authors out Just keep writing and learning. Read everything. One of the greatest things to me is YouTube videos. You can find a video to help you learn anything from how to get started writing to how to format and even how to market your books. Listen to different ones in various genres, don’t think you have to do what they all say, but pick and choose what works for you.

Anything you would like to add?

We all battle our own version of the imposter syndrome. Fighting the battle within ourselves, the doubts and fears that come with being a creative and putting our work in front of people who may or may not like it… it’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone could do it. The difference between being a success and a failure is one more try. Keep putting yourself out there, keep putting your work out there, each time you don’t quit, you’ve succeeded.

Social media, website, etc. links

Website: https://sherrilhollister.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jeanelia1964
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suspenseshewrites/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sjlhollisterwriter
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherri-hollister-a0132b4a/
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B079FGXGBH
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/sherri-lupton-hollister
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/slhollister

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Book Review: Chrome Pink (The Leeward Files Volume 1)

Book Summary

She has hope tattooed on her leg but carries the scars of self-destruction deep inside her soul. Rae Lynne Grimes is a survivor. A fighter. Set in the small fictional town of Leeward, North Carolina on the inner banks of the Atlantic Ocean, this suspense thriller brings rape survivor Rae Lynne Grimes face to face with her rapist who is now the town’s mayor.

Todd Bryant treats the town like his own private kingdom. Rae Lynne is grieving and trying to stay sober, just try to finish the restoration of the pink Harley she’s rebuilding for her best friend’s breast cancer fundraiser, so she gets the hell out of town. But she’s not leaving fast enough to suit someone. When the threats turn to murder, Rae becomes a suspect. She must put her trust in a man working for her greatest enemy or find herself at the mercy of a killer.

Logan Birdsong doesn’t have time to fall in love, he has a company to save. When it comes down to love or money, which will win out?

Review

Sometimes you read a book, and it lends you an honest truth. Chrome Pink by SL Hollister is one of those books that rips you into the pages. You yearn to read more about Rae, instantly feeling connected to her from the beginning. She gives a realistic look at a flawed character but flawed in just the right way.

Whether it was her rebellious nature or her decision to attend AA, Rae was a painfully genuine character. As you follow along with the story, you feel closer and closer to Rae and the other characters as they develop.

Hollister does an outstanding job delving into each of her characters and opening them up for the reader to see. From Rae to Billy to Todd to Logan, you slowly begin to understand each character more and more with every flip of the page.

The plot moves at a good pace. Just when things start to slow down, Hollister ramps the excitement and heat back up. She does an excellent job building up the story, allowing the reader to develop their own ideas and theories about the “who done it” aspect.

This story has an ideal amount of action, adventure, and romance with spots heating up in each of those areas. The writing is well-done and fluid, flowing well from page to page.

This was a well-written story with an amazing and creative storyline and developed characters. This was Hollister’s first published work, but I’m already looking forward to digging into the rest of the Leeward Files volumes.

Rating

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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How to Warm Those Cold Thoughts

We all have moments where our thoughts turn colder than an arctic winter. The constant self-doubt that plagues our thoughts and the nagging voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough. The thoughts that send chills down your spine and intrude on the good ones.

One thing that I’ve turned to in order to warm up those cold thoughts was a wax warmer. Smells have always been one of my biggest soothers. A nice, calm, relaxing smell will typically put my mind at ease.

The smells transport my thoughts to something different. The smell of Beach Air brings me to a yellow beach with crystal clear waters as far as the eye can see. Calming waves slap against the shore, leaving white outlines in their wake.

The smell of Forest transports me to a cabin in the woods. Birds chirp around me as a stray deer feeds in the distance. The aroma of fresh morning dew resting on the leaves of the tall trees.

Lavender is one of my all-time favorites, though. Folk medicine circles have often touted lavender as being a natural aid for anxiety and depression. There have even been studies done on a certain kind of alcohol found in lavender and other flowers that resulted in a reduction in anxiety in mice.

Anyway.

There are so many scents to choose from that can transport you to countless places. Our senses are some of our most powerful tools, and using them to help soothe our cold thoughts is a valuable thing to know how to do.

So when you have your wax warmer plugged in and you’ve picked the destination scent you want to travel to, now what? Turn the lights out and allow the dim light from the wax warmer to warm the room.

Lay down and close your eyes. Focus on the place you want to go. Imagine every detail of the forest, from different creatures scurrying through the brush to the smells of a wood-burning fireplace and hot coffee. Take a deep breath in and hold it. One. Two. Three. Exhale.

Repeat that until your body becomes enveloped in the smells. You’ll feel weightless as the weight is lifted off of you. Hold on to that place for as long as you can, following the breathing process.

I have a goal of owning a cabin in the woods one day, so often my smells are forestry or calming smells. I transport myself to watching the morning sunrise and paint the fog orange. The tips of mountains around me come to life as birds wake up and begin singing.

I’m sitting there with my wife, drinking coffee on our porch overlooking the surrounding mountains. The smell of the coffee often materializes in between the smells of Grey Mist. I have a wonderful book in my lap, one of my books.

That’s where I choose to go when I need an escape from reality. It’s my calm place, the place that can warm those cold thoughts. It gives me hope.

Hope for a better future.

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Book Review: Skyrocket Your Career: The No Bullsh*t Approach to Find Your Dream Job, Be Successful in It, and Transform into a Rockstar

Book Summary

It’s Monday morning, and you wake up at 6 AM; you didn’t even have your first cup of coffee, and you already feel the whole week is going to be a disaster. You know you have to go to a job you hate and endure 40 hours of torture. You are doubtful whether you will make it through another week, and yet you are stuck in this hamster wheel. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Are you tired of being unfulfilled, and you know you want more? It is time for a change; it is time to Skyrocket Your Career.

In this book, Raj Subrameyer shares his real-life experiences living through these nightmares and making a dramatic transformation. Coming to a foreign land as an immigrant during the 2008 recession, he applied for 1293 jobs and got one job out of it. After many failures, he learned different strategies to convert his minimal-paying job into a six-figure business. Through this book Raj reveals his practical strategies to find your dream job, be massively successful in it, and uncover your rockstar potential, setting you miles apart from your competition. Using the tips, tricks, and tools discussed in this book, you can launch yourself into each opportunity and blast off with courage and confidence.

Review

I started reading this book not because I was interested in changing careers, but because I’ve been in the mood for honest, truthful, and real self-help books. After all, we can always work on becoming our best selves. The title of the book attracted me to it initially. I liked the realness it portrayed. The author’s authenticity, ruggedness, and knowledge shine through in his writing.

This book isn’t just for finding your next job, this book can be used and applied to all aspects of our life. With the real-life examples the author gives us and the honest dialogue he has with you as the reader, the book hooks you in. It motivates you and pushes you, inspiring you to want to do more and become better.

Now if you are looking for a new job or are just embarking on your career search, I even more highly recommend this book. The advice and exercises provided throughout the book are real and practical solutions to increasing your chances of finding a job. Not only that, but the author provides examples of how they have used these very same strategies to advance their career and move in the direction they are currently headed.

Overall, this book inspired me. I even took the advice of some of the suggestions on becoming a rockstar in my field. I got inspired to revamp my LinkedIn profile and use it more. It felt like I WAS made for more. When I closed this book, I felt empowered.

Rating

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Buy Now

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Author Interview: Kelsey Anne Lovelady

Let me start by saying Kelsey is an amazing individual. I have known her for the last year and a half. We met during the Darkened Veil Universe project where I voiced the Cretan Creature Minotauros and she voiced the Witch of Camelot Morgan Le Fey. Our characters wound up married and Kelsey and I became really close friends. I’m excited and honored for her to be my first ever author interview.

Tell me about yourself

By day, I work in customer service for an insurance company. In 2018, I got my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Musical Theatre Performance from the University of Wyoming. I love dogs, reading, crystals, tea, and Dungeons and Dragons.

What inspired you to write?

Tamora Pierce, ultimately. I started reading her books in middle school, and that’s what got me to love reading. And from a love of reading, a love of writing naturally evolved.

What is your favorite genre to read?

Sci-Fi/Fantasy

To write?

Same, though I want to dabble in many genres.

What is your favorite piece of work you’ve written?

That would be my current work-in-progres, Indifferent. It’s like nothing I’ve written before and something I never thought I was going to write, but it has played a major part of my life now and I am excited to share it with the world.

How do you handle good and bad reviews of your work?

Frankly, I don’t read reviews. The reviews are for the readers. I get my feedback during the Critique Partner and Beta-Reader phases. I have someone send me good reviews to add to my motivation folder, but other than that, I don’t look at the reviews that weren’t from the ARCs.

What is your favorite part about writing?

Probably brainstorming. It is such an endorphin rush to come up with an idea and start fleshing out the ideas for characters, setting, world, and plot.

Least favorite?

Trying to find the right words. You wouldn’t think it would be so hard.

What social media site has been the most beneficial for your writing?

Pinterest. I love being able to visualize certain parts of my novels, and Pinterest really helps with that.

What does the future hold for you?

Right now I’m working on moving into my new apartment. I am also writing for Rewritten Realms online magazines, In The Pantheon and In The Crescent. And when I’m not at work, I’m going to be editing my novel Indifferent and preparing it for beta-readers.

Any advice you would like to give other authors?

If you are considering becoming a writer because you think you’re going to make your fortune that way, you are not going to succeed. People who can make a living off of their writing are the blessed few, and if money is your only motivation, you are not gonna finish that first draft. Because this shit is HARD.

Anything you would like to add?

Never wrong a writer. They get their revenge in print.

Social media, website, etc. links

Twitter: @KelseyALovelady

Instagram: kelseyannelovelady

TikTok: KelseyAnneLovelady

YouTube: Kelsey Anne Lovelady

Website: kelseyannelovelady.com

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What is “Tea, But With Coffee”?

Ah, the mighty question: what is the meaning behind the name? You may be thinking that I have eccentric tastes and like to mix a little Earl Grey with my Cafe Bustelo. Alas, that is not the case. Though, I do still plan on trying that one day just for shits and giggles.

No, it’s more simplistic than that. It’s a play on my actual name. Tea (like ‘T’) for Tyler, the ‘b’ in But for Bruce, and With Coffee sounds loosely like Wittkofsky. With Coffee came first way back in high school. Obviously, nobody could say my last name, so I was mounted with a multitude of pronunciations. Witt-Kiff-Ski, Witt, Waffles, Mike Wazowski, Whiskey, and my favorite With Coffee.

It just kind of stuck with me. I was an avid coffee drinker, preferring mine in a five-gallon bucket, black. As I started getting onto the newer social media sites at the time, I had to come up with handles. I wanted something catchy that didn’t give away too much of my identity. With Coffee was often taken, so I added the “T” in most of my social handles. From that sparked an online alias of “Tea, But With Coffee”.

Who am I? I am an award-winning multi-genre author, poet, and mental health advocate from Leland, North Carolina. I graduated from South Brunswick High School and went on to receive his Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and Master of Business Administration from the University of North Carolina Wilmington.

So what can you expect to find on my site? That’s the beauty of it, you’ll get to see the inner workings of my mind. Writing updates and tips and tricks, mental health articles, book reviews, and author interviews. I’m sure my content will broaden as time goes on because just like any person with a good ol’ mental illness my mind runs on fifty different tracks at a time.

I’m looking forward to what the future holds for me with this site. It’s an exciting new journey, and I’m glad you’re here to take it with me. Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter HERE and receive a free download of my first published work, “(Not) Alone”.