It’s Hard to Stay Happy

I’m doing good. I’m doing fantastic, actually. I would be willing to say I have been feeling the best I have ever felt these last few weeks. I finally got a new medicine regimen that seems to be working wonders for me. I’m writing more passionately, I’ve just launched a new podcast and taken on speaking engagements. I’m coaching youth sports again and fulfilling my passion for helping kids because I don’t have any of my own.

I’ve been growing as a person and developing into a better version of myself. I learned, with the help of my wife, that you have to find the positives in the negatives. For example, I bought a new car a few weeks ago. I felt great. About five days later, the check engine light comes on. Normally, I would have spiraled and regretted the decision of ever getting a new car. I would have gone through a million scenarios that could have been causing it. This time, though, I thought “At least it happened now rather than after the warranty expires.”

I’ve even been going and doing more. I have spent more time with my friends and family, wanting to get out of the house. I’ve learned that I had missed hanging out with people, partly a toll from the COVID lockdowns, I suppose. I sheltered myself and forgot what real, genuine human interaction was like. Now, I crave it and want to be around people.

All is well, right? Well, not exactly. There’s this lingering thought in the back of my head that tells me, “When is it going to happen again? When will you fall again?” That nagging voice in the back of my head haunts me every day and every night.

I forget about it when I’m doing the things I love and the things I enjoy. I stay so happy now. I’m motivated to do the things I love and spend time with the people who are always by my side. But when I finally get laid down for the night and try to go to sleep, it sneaks back up on me.

It attacks me when my mind is most vulnerable. “It’ll happen again. It’s coming soon. You’re going to fall back in the darkness. Will you make it out this time?” I lay there staring into the darkness of my bedroom or hiding behind the shield of my eyelids.

It’s always there. Sometimes it’s just easier to forget that it’s there. Other times it is louder. I won’t lose, though. Even if I fall back into the darkness, I’ll come back out into the light like I always do.

Stay strong.

We’ve got this.

Published by Tyler Wittkofsky

Step into the captivating world of Tyler Wittkofsky, an extraordinary talent hailing from North Carolina's enchanting southern coast. As a multi-genre maestro, Tyler weaves tales that sweep you into unforgettable adventures. Beyond his writing prowess, he's a fervent podcaster, mental health advocate, and travel blogger. With his wife Grace and furry companions Dutch and Belle, Tyler embarks on awe-inspiring journeys across the US, chronicled on the enthralling blog "Adventure With Coffee." Tyler's literary repertoire includes the touching novella "(Not) Alone," inspired by true events on mental health struggles, and the debut romance "The Seeds of Love: Sunflower Kisses Book One," navigating love's complexities through a mentally ill protagonist. His emotionally charged poetry collection "Coffee, Alcohol, and Heartbreak" draws from four transformative years. Collaborating with Kelsey Anne Lovelady, "Enamored Echoes Book 1: Potent" marked his fantasy co-authorship debut. As a beacon of hope, Tyler shares his mental health journey on He co-hosts the Cook the Books podcast, delving into writing and publishing. He also leads Tea With Coffee Media, spotlighting untold stories via his indie publishing company. Not just a creative, Tyler excels as an award-winning marketing pro, recognized with accolades like Wilmington Biz Journal's Top 100 award. In 2020, he launched The Wittkofsky Company, a non-profit digital marketing and PR firm for positive global impact. Join Tyler's journey on social media @TylerWittkofsky, and explore his work at for an inspiring rollercoaster of emotion and unforgettable stories.

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