How to Warm Those Cold Thoughts

We all have moments where our thoughts turn colder than an arctic winter. The constant self-doubt that plagues our thoughts and the nagging voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough. The thoughts that send chills down your spine and intrude on the good ones.

One thing that I’ve turned to in order to warm up those cold thoughts was a wax warmer. Smells have always been one of my biggest soothers. A nice, calm, relaxing smell will typically put my mind at ease.

The smells transport my thoughts to something different. The smell of Beach Air brings me to a yellow beach with crystal clear waters as far as the eye can see. Calming waves slap against the shore, leaving white outlines in their wake.

The smell of Forest transports me to a cabin in the woods. Birds chirp around me as a stray deer feeds in the distance. The aroma of fresh morning dew resting on the leaves of the tall trees.

Lavender is one of my all-time favorites, though. Folk medicine circles have often touted lavender as being a natural aid for anxiety and depression. There have even been studies done on a certain kind of alcohol found in lavender and other flowers that resulted in a reduction in anxiety in mice.


There are so many scents to choose from that can transport you to countless places. Our senses are some of our most powerful tools, and using them to help soothe our cold thoughts is a valuable thing to know how to do.

So when you have your wax warmer plugged in and you’ve picked the destination scent you want to travel to, now what? Turn the lights out and allow the dim light from the wax warmer to warm the room.

Lay down and close your eyes. Focus on the place you want to go. Imagine every detail of the forest, from different creatures scurrying through the brush to the smells of a wood-burning fireplace and hot coffee. Take a deep breath in and hold it. One. Two. Three. Exhale.

Repeat that until your body becomes enveloped in the smells. You’ll feel weightless as the weight is lifted off of you. Hold on to that place for as long as you can, following the breathing process.

I have a goal of owning a cabin in the woods one day, so often my smells are forestry or calming smells. I transport myself to watching the morning sunrise and paint the fog orange. The tips of mountains around me come to life as birds wake up and begin singing.

I’m sitting there with my wife, drinking coffee on our porch overlooking the surrounding mountains. The smell of the coffee often materializes in between the smells of Grey Mist. I have a wonderful book in my lap, one of my books.

That’s where I choose to go when I need an escape from reality. It’s my calm place, the place that can warm those cold thoughts. It gives me hope.

Hope for a better future.


Published by Tyler Wittkofsky

Tyler Wittkofsky is a multi-genre author, blogger, award-winning marketing and communications professional, and fierce mental health advocate from the southern coast of North Carolina. Tyler has been writing short stories for as long as he can remember. Growing up the grandson of an English teacher, Tyler had a constant fuel to his creative fire in his grandmother. He started writing poetry in 2012 to cope with his mental health struggles with anxiety, bipolar, and depression. Using poetry as an escape, he developed a unique style of poetry that has left readers saying, “Tyler’s voice is compassionate, even while suffering, and I felt the despair and loneliness seeping out through his words.” His first poetry collection, composed of poems written from 2012 to 2016, was published in March 2020. He began his first novel in 2019. The novel, (Not) Alone, was a story based on true events surrounding the struggles of living with mental illness. Described by readers as “An Intimate Closure with Mental Illness,” this began Tyler’s revitalized passion for mental health. He decided that his writing would have a focus on mental health. His next novel, The Seeds of Love: Sunflower Kisses Book One, was his debut romance novel and debut series. Described as “a great job of relaying the realistic emotions of young love and emotional drama that is particularly difficult for young adults…”, his debut romance novel was met with much success. In 2021, Tyler began writing short stories. He was accepted into several anthologies in mid-2021, expected for publication in early 2022. He also writes supernatural horror and historical fantasy for the online magazines In the Pantheon and In the Crescent. He has work published through Five Minute Affairs as well. He built his website in 2021. On this site, he started his blogging journey. He began writing book reviews, interviewing indie authors, and writing on mental health. This passion sparked a new desire to connect with more people. Tyler is currently in the beginning stages of two podcasts that he hopes to be live by the end of 2021. Tyler currently lives in Leland, North Carolina with his wife, Grace, and dogs, Dutch and Belle. You can find him and his works here:

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